America, Haley Barbour wants you to take a haircut.

America,  Haley Barbour wants you to take a haircut.

Uh-oh, looks a little short between the ears.
Revisionist History by Haley Barbour from the Washington Post.  There are facts and then there is the Republican version.

United States of Angina

United States of Angina (Heartache in the Heartland)

Decision 2010

Decision 2010

multiple choice test

Which of the following is true?

A) New Change

B) Jimmy Obama

C) Secret Conservative

D) More than one are true.

E) None of the above.

                                           

Proof of Chupacabra

Proof of Chupacabra 

The Republican Republican Party Store put $1,000,000,000,000 in fraudulent charges on my credit card and I DEMAND a REFUND

Exterior photo of the Republican Party Store which stole my $1,000,000,000,000 

True confession not satire or irony:  I cried,  literally cried when I heard Tony Blair speak about why

Saddam Hussein was the 21st century equivalent of  Adolf Hitler.   Somehow in my emotionally fragile state following 9/11, I joined the propaganda fueled zeitgeist that conflated two  men,  one who launched an unprovoked  attack on our homeland and one who, like many other dictators active around the world today, did horrible things to his people. I freely admit to LM and SM,  that they were right in 2001 when they said that I had been living in Texas way too long.  I bought the Republican rationale for invasion of Iraq, hook, line and sinker.  I now recognize the error of my thinking, but still feel justified in writing the following:

Open consumer complaint letter to the Republican Party Store

In  2010, as an aspiring ironic blogger, as a seeker of truth and as a voter,   I must  address this consumer complaint letter to you, the Republican Party.  You fraudulently placed $1,000,000,000,000 in charges on my credit card and I demand a full refund.  I don't care if you say the warranty ran out in 2008 when you lost the presidency or if you claim that a lot of people like me with D after their name bought into the same deal and they're not objecting all that much.   Republican Party, you stole  my money with fraud and deception.  You promised me a war that wouldn't cost me, an American taxpayer, a dime and would bring about an era of world peace. You promised a war that would establish a Jeffersonian democracy in the Middle East which would then serve as an example to other nations of what success looks like. Well they wrote the constitution, held an election. Have they formed a government yet?  I don't think so.

Now you want me to give up on Social Security, a good education for my grandchildren, unemployment compensation for my neighbors, and veterans benefits for the people who fought in Vietnam.  All to pay for a war that was started on completely concocted grounds.

All I got from your war are these ridiculous monthly charges.  I thought I was going to get Osama bin Laden, handcuffed at his war crimes trial.  Show me Osama. And show me that money.  I don't care if you claim the government business is under new management.  My contract was with you, Republican Party Store, and I want a full refund on my trillion dollars.

Yours,
TEP
satirical blogger and sincere progressive

My Name is Neo (CON-ARTIST)

And now for the latest rollout from the people who brought you the war that would pay for itself and find a justification once we invaded, and from the crowd who championed the ownership society where we  lost our houses to foreclosure and underwater mortgages and would have lost our retirement if they that had moved our Social Security to the stock market:
It's  Republican Revisionist History, in which the people who took their kids out of the public schools into all white private academies,  attended separate all white churches and left the Democratic party en masse when it stood up for civil rights, reclaim their status as the party of Lincoln.

My name is Neo (CON-ARTIST)

Hope we all enjoy the way they keep the federal government out of our personal lives with warrantless wiretaps, emergency reconvening of congress to "save"  a vegetative Terri Schiavo, and  declaration of no-mosque exclusion zones around national monuments.
Republicans surging in the polls?  Maybe it's America  that's gone completely brain-dead.

BECKon to them to enter the gates of the nobles.

Just can't shake the image of that great adversary of Liberation Theology, Glenn Beck, standing at the Lincoln Memorial,  evoking the memory of Martin Luther King?  Maybe, like the divine natural flyover its all part of the master plan.  After all, this text from Isaiah which contains his name seems to be a call for social and economic justice.

A Prophecy Against Babylon

1An oracle concerning Babylon that Isaiah son of Amoz saw:

2Raise a banner on a bare hilltop,

shout to them;

beckon to them

to enter the gates of the nobles.

3I have commanded my holy ones;

I have summoned my warriors to carry out my wrath—

those who rejoice in my triumph.

But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. And so, we've come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice.

Martin Luther King, Jr.
"I Have a Dream"
delivered 28 August 1963, at the Lincoln Memorial, Washington D.C.

Is There a Republican Hypocrisy Gene?

Oh there she goes again, blaming the Republicans for our 4000 dead American troops, our 30,000 injured service people and 100,000 lost Iraqi lives. Rachel Maddow would have you believe that just because Bush started the war in Iraq on specious grounds, that there never were any credible evidence of WMD, that there never was an Al Queda/Saddam connection, that we didn't succeed in establishing a beachhead for the success of democracy in the Middle East, that the UN didn't want our help in enforcing the Oil for Food program,  that we should blame, not congratulate, Republicans. The Right on the other hand says Obama should have been praising Bush for the genius of putting more troops in Iraq so that the country could be stabilized. After all, it's great to win a war even if you shouldn't have attacked in the first place, correct? Even if you haven't actually succeeded in your born-again objective of nation building with representative government.

But come on, progressives have got to stop denouncing Republicans for hypocrisy. Because we of the American Left are the big hearted people who don't criticize others for what they can not help. We certainly don't condemn someone for inheriting Lou Gehrig's Disease. We would certainly excuse a small child for being born into poverty, since she had no choice in the condition of her birth. We don't hold the driver of a well-maintained Toyota responsible if the brakes fail and cause an accident, since he didn't design the flawed braking system.  Why then, would we continue to criticize Republicans for exhibiting their natural, preordained propensity to hypocrisy? In fact, hypocrisy is so widespread among the right, I believe that scientists will soon discover the Republican hypocrisy gene.

Case in point, apparently poor Glenn Beck's Divine Destiny wasn't completely consistent with traditional Christian teachings. One of the principle speakers at the August 28 rally, the infamous anti-Catholic Pastor John Hagee, also preaches the "Nazis had operated on God's behalf to chase the Jews from Europe and shepherd them to Palestine." Hagee also claims that Hurricane Katrina was God's wrath on the city for its gay pride parade, and the "all Muslims have a mandate to kill Christians and Jews."

Glenn Beck has advised his listeners to flee from churches preaching social justice, even though Matthew 5:3 reads “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." He wants us to buy gold from Goldline so that we can stand proud with the temple moneylenders.

Republicans truly can not restrain their propensity to hypocrisy and therefore are not eligible for liberal attack. We should stop bringing up the way Rush Limbaugh celebrated the sanctity of marriage and the Defense of Marriage Act, defending us from gay marriage, with his fourth wedding. Or mentioning the fact that he underscored the point by hiring openly gay Elton John to sing at the wedding. We should be able to easily follow the entertainer's example and ignore Rush's on-air remarks like "Democrats will bend over, grab the ankles, and say, ‘Have your way with me’” to African American and gay voters."

And speaking of DOMA, what better example of the Republican irresistible draw to hypocrisy than Newt Gingrich's serial affairs while married. This outspoken self-righteous man clearly articulated the importance having an attractive, young healthy wife when running for president. His wife, who was fighting cancer at the time, had no trouble understanding why a newer, fresher Mrs. Gingrich was already auditioning in Newt's bed for the position of future First Lady. She was too patriotic to bring up the Newt's concurrent harassment of Bill Clinton for his indiscretions.

One need not dwell on the serially married to find examples of the Republican hypocrisy gene. Ken Mehlman won the 2005 American Association of Political Consultants “Campaign Manager of the Year” award for his management of the Bush/Cheney presidential ticket." Much of the campaign's success was based on demonization of gay people and preventing gay marriage. At that time, Ken hadn't come to terms with his homosexual identity.

One could go on and on: William Bennett, Drug Czar under George H. W. Bush addicted to gambling, Robert Waltrip, a Bush campaign contributor whose funeral company  had to settle a lawsuit over bodies   being dug up and dumped in the woods. Not to mention such obvious examples as wide stance Larry Craig and n-word Dr. Laura.  And Fox News displaying the banner Fair and Balanced while contributing a million dollars to elect Republican governors. With such overwhelming evidence of an inherited propensity to dissimulation,  progressives must cease and desist from criticizing Republicans.  In the name of Strom Thurmond's black children.