The Republican Republican Party Store put $1,000,000,000,000 in fraudulent charges on my credit card and I DEMAND a REFUND

Exterior photo of the Republican Party Store which stole my $1,000,000,000,000 

True confession not satire or irony:  I cried,  literally cried when I heard Tony Blair speak about why

Saddam Hussein was the 21st century equivalent of  Adolf Hitler.   Somehow in my emotionally fragile state following 9/11, I joined the propaganda fueled zeitgeist that conflated two  men,  one who launched an unprovoked  attack on our homeland and one who, like many other dictators active around the world today, did horrible things to his people. I freely admit to LM and SM,  that they were right in 2001 when they said that I had been living in Texas way too long.  I bought the Republican rationale for invasion of Iraq, hook, line and sinker.  I now recognize the error of my thinking, but still feel justified in writing the following:

Open consumer complaint letter to the Republican Party Store

In  2010, as an aspiring ironic blogger, as a seeker of truth and as a voter,   I must  address this consumer complaint letter to you, the Republican Party.  You fraudulently placed $1,000,000,000,000 in charges on my credit card and I demand a full refund.  I don't care if you say the warranty ran out in 2008 when you lost the presidency or if you claim that a lot of people like me with D after their name bought into the same deal and they're not objecting all that much.   Republican Party, you stole  my money with fraud and deception.  You promised me a war that wouldn't cost me, an American taxpayer, a dime and would bring about an era of world peace. You promised a war that would establish a Jeffersonian democracy in the Middle East which would then serve as an example to other nations of what success looks like. Well they wrote the constitution, held an election. Have they formed a government yet?  I don't think so.

Now you want me to give up on Social Security, a good education for my grandchildren, unemployment compensation for my neighbors, and veterans benefits for the people who fought in Vietnam.  All to pay for a war that was started on completely concocted grounds.

All I got from your war are these ridiculous monthly charges.  I thought I was going to get Osama bin Laden, handcuffed at his war crimes trial.  Show me Osama. And show me that money.  I don't care if you claim the government business is under new management.  My contract was with you, Republican Party Store, and I want a full refund on my trillion dollars.

Yours,
TEP
satirical blogger and sincere progressive